It's taunting me. With its white-as-snow perfect color. It's laughing at me.
"Ha ha!" It's saying. "Nothing is smudging my perfect color! There are no pencil marks, no letters, nothing that prevents the white from showing!"
I'm grinding my teeth at it, but that only makes the blank page laugh louder. I crumple it up and stuff it in the trash can. It's not as satisfying as I thought it would be.
My mind is empty. Just like the blank page. Words aren't coming as easily as they should be. I have ideas, but I can't find a way to use them. How infuriating.
I get distracted and walk away. When I come back, the page is still blank. Of course it is. It would be too easy, too unrealistic to expect the words to blossom without any water to make them grow. I haven't even planted the seeds yet. Why should I expect tomatoes when all I have is dirt?
Now I'm thinking about gardens, which is making me hungry.
Focus, focus, focus.
"You can't write. I'm a blank page. I'm supposed to just sit here and look pretty."
"I can't shut up. I'm a blank page. I'm supposed to taunt you."
"I said shut up!"
"La, la, la. I'm a blank page. You can't write on me, you can't write on me, you can't--"
I rip the page, but the taunts are still ringing in my ears.
Who am I kidding?
I'm having one of those days. Inspiration, anyone? ;)
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
The Blank Page
I am an 18-year-old homeschooler, author, daydreamer, voracious reader, introvert, feminist, klutz, fangirl, and overuser of tape. I love the impossible (which might explain my obsessions with fantasy novels and Harry Potter) but I dip into the real world . . . occasionally. I tend to get overly emotional over my OTPs and eat sushi or listen to Taylor Swift to soothe the pain. If all else fails, reruns of “Doctor Who” or “Supernatural” is sure to help. I’m a big fan of mismatched socks, Cheez-Its, and bittersweet endings. I believe anything Rainbow Rowell, Felicia Day, or Lin-Manuel Miranda touches turns to gold. If you want to win the way to my heart, help me adopt a baby elephant. Or a llama. Or both. I write to survive and will often yell at my characters if they aren’t behaving, which is always. It doesn’t usually help. I am a contributor to the "Fauxpocalypse" anthology. You can follow me on Twitter at @Magic_Violinist.