I'm Enlisting Your Help . . .

If, of course, you'd like to help me. This is completely voluntary.* If and when you do decide to be oh-so-very helpful, you'll be met with lots of grateful hugs and virtual cookies. So thank you in advance!

*Unless you wish to suffer the wrath of a bookworm with a pile of 400+-page hardbacks.

**Just kidding.

I've been querying my YA contemporary romance, Beneath the Moon and Stars, for quite some time now, and while I did receive a full manuscript request, that agent eventually passed, and I've had no other bites since. It's always hard to tell what the exact reason for this is since most rejections are form letters, but taking a look at the query letter is a good place to start.

I'd love it if you blogger extraordinaires could take a look at my letter and tell me what works, what doesn't, what you think could be improved, etc. Pretend you're picking my book off the shelf of a bookstore or library and reading the back cover. Does it interest you? Why or why not? What's missing?

Kya and Lane weren’t exactly “meant to be.” 17-year-old Kya lives with her mother and abusive stepfather in a flea-ridden apartment above a guy who grows weed. She’d never dream of the luxury of a healthy relationship. 18-year-old Lane lives in a ritzy house with maids and cooks and constantly butts heads with his mother, who accuses him of falling in love too quickly.

One day at the grocery store, Kya and Lane meet at the checkout line, bonding over their shared disgust of Miley Cyrus music. They become fast “just friends,” discussing everything from books to whether or not eating caviar is ethical. But their friendship holds the possibility of something more. That is, it could be more if Kya’s tyrannical stepfather and Lane’s manipulative mother don’t break them apart.

But with the help of Kya’s mother and Lane’s older sister, they’ll find a way to beat the odds. If the odds don’t beat them first.

Hugs and virtual cookies await! Just leave a comment. :) Thank you!

Query Letter Rejection Celebration!

I got my first personal rejection today. :) It wasn't a form letter. Let me tell you the (short) story.

I submitted to "Nancy Gallt Literary Agency" about a month and a half ago by using their online form, the very same agency that currently represents Jeanne DuPrau (The City of Ember series) and Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson and the Olympians series). After it sent, I crossed my fingers, held my breath, and tried to forget about it so I wouldn't be obsessively refreshing my Inbox every few days.

Today the rejection was in my Inbox, but it looked kind of weird when I opened it. Ah, that would be because it was longer and they . . . actually used my name? No "Dear Author" or "We're sorry to say . . ."?

Nope! It was a personal rejection, meaning it wasn't a form letter, that the agent I submitted to (Marietta Zacker) had actually written it out and taken the time to respond to me, something most agents don't do and don't have the time for. Here's the letter she sent me:

Ms. (My last name here):

I am so impressed with your drive and your fortitude.  Congratulations on what you've already accomplished.  Writing a novel is no easy feat.

I have to pass on FANTASYA, but I'll be rooting for you, hoping that you continue to be as passionate as you are now.  I also recommend that you stay as dedicated to the craft of writing as you are at the moment. You have an amazing future.

Thank you for your query ~ I wish you the very best.

Sincerely,
Marietta

Marietta Zacker
Nancy Gallt Literary Agency

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Updates From MV:

Giving away three books for the price of absolutely nothing (click HERE).
Waiting on six literary agents to respond to my query (EEP!!!).
Loving THIS shirt.

(If you have something you'd like me to share in "Updates From MV" please send me an e-mail at themagicviolinist(AT)gmail(DOT)com. Thank you! :D)

Before and After--The Process of Creating a Query Letter

As requested by my mom, I have decided to write a post about my query letter. The first draft and the final draft (at least I think it's the final draft) will be posted below. But first a few tips that I've learned:

1. Go to this site for everything you need to know about query letters. The woman doing this is brutally honest, but very effective and helpful. She definitely knows what she's doing.

2. Start your query letter with a bang. You need a nice hook that will get an agent's attention.

3. Be specific. Don't use words like "some" or "very." A sense of mystery is okay, but you don't want to be too vague. The agent will be left feeling clueless!

4. Thank the agent for their time and consideration. Apparently a lot of people neglect to do this. You can't just hand over a query letter without thanking them for taking the time to read it. Then you'll come across as cocky and entitled.

And now for the query letter finale:

BEFORE

 To Whom It May Concern,

Cassandra Day is a unicorn. She lives in a world called Fantasya where magical creatures from royal Pegasi to tiny elves live in peace. Well, they used to live in peace. Gargamouth, a giant with a hot head, wants to take over Fantasya and rule all of the creatures living in it by killing off the unicorns and Pegasi using his army of trolls and elves. Cassandra knows she must she must stop Gargamouth, and her best friend Cornelia, who is also a unicorn and is a bit better about plan-making than Cassandra, wants to help her.

But before either of them can do something about this gigantic problem, they are both whisked away to Earth where they must blend in with the humans. Cassandra and Cornelia disguise themselves as humans and search for a way to get back, meeting all kinds of danger along the way, such as nearly getting captured by trolls and exposing themselves to the human race. Can they defeat Gargamouth and bring Fantasya to peace once again?

I would love it if you could represent my book Fantasya: A Giant Problem. It is a complete 23,541-word manuscript and the first book in a fantasy trilogy intended for middle-grade kids, but I think all ages will enjoy it.

I am a twelve-year-old homeschooled girl who loves to write. I won our local library’s poetry contest in 2010, I write for our local library’s newsletter, I won an honorable mention for the Hershey Story Contest, I have a blog (themagicviolinist.blogspot.com), and I write a monthly post for The Write Practice (thewritepractice.com).

Thank you for your time and consideration and I hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

Kate XXXXX
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AFTER

To Whom It May Concern,

If someone doesn’t defeat Gargamouth the giant, all of the unicorns in Fantasya could die.

Cassandra Day, a unicorn, needs to defeat Gargamouth if Fantasya, a world full of magical creatures, will ever be at peace again. Cassandra and her best friend, Cornelia, another unicorn, devise a plan to conquer the hot-headed giant. But when they accidentally touch an Earth Flower they’re whisked away to Earth where they must blend in with humans to survive.

How will the unicorns hide from humans, escape from the trolls who threaten their lives, and return to Fantasya to defeat Gargamouth? If they don’t, will Fantasya fall into ruins? Will all of the unicorns die?

Fantasya: A Giant Problem is a 23,500-word middle grade novel intended for children ages 7-12. It is a story of how friendship and teamwork can conquer any task.

I am a homeschooled girl who loves to write. I post at my blog themagicviolinist.blogspot.com two to three times a week, and am a monthly contributor at thewritepractice.com, a blog for writers. The Write Practice has over 6500 subscribers and nearly 30,000 monthly readers and was voted one of the Top Ten Blogs For Writers in 2012. I write for the Annville Free Library’s newsletter and won a poetry contest at the Lebanon Community Library in 2010.

Thank you for your time and consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Kate  XXXXX
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I'd like to give a little shout out to our family's friend Dave and also to Michelle from Random Writing Rants. Thanks so much for helping me out! :D

So be honest. If you were an agent and saw this query letter would you ask for more pages? Would you even be interested at all? Would you think I'm not experienced enough and have no idea what I'm doing? Leave a comment! :D