Sunday, May 12, 2013

The 10 Most Ridiculous Things I See In Minecraft--A Post By M.O.R.O.N.

First, I'd like to say, Happy Mother's Day to my awesome mom! :D I love you and I can't wait for next Saturday so we can watch "Gilmore Girls" again!

What is M.O.R.O.N.? A new blog post series I just made up. ;)

M.O.R.O.N. stands for My Outstanding Rants On Numbskulls. Every month (usually on the 12th) I--or another member of the M.O.R.O.N. team--will post a rant/post/few comments about idiots. It can be a poem, a funny meme, a short post, or some other creative thing about idiots. Here are the members:

1. The Magic Violinist

Yup. I'm the only person. If you would like to join, please post a comment with your e-mail address (unless I already have it) and I will contact you.

Without further ado, I give you "The 10 Most Ridiculous Things I See In Minecraft!"

Minecraft is an awesome game! In fact, it's one of my favorite computer games (along with Webkinz and Wizard101). Unfortunately, most everyone on there is stupid. Seriously. I've yet to see someone who can capitalize their "I's" or can actually spell out the word "you." (And, seriously? You should know the difference between your and you're by now. Yeah, I'm looking at you, college kid)!

1. Bai and Hai

I sort of get don't get why people use "u" instead of "you" or b4 instead of "before," because it doesn't take that long to type out whole words in the first place! But this . . . this is just absurd. If the whole point of spelling things wrong is to "use ur time affectively" (and I saw someone type this as their excuse), then why in the world would you use "bai" instead of "bye" or "hai" instead of "hi?" "Bye" and "bai" each have three letters! Now you're just coming across as stupid (not that you were doing any better earlier). And if you're really trying to save yourself time, typing "hai" instead of "hi" is not a good way to do that.

2. Imma

"Imma go to dinner." "Imma let my dog out." "Imma cool." I've seen all three of these things (and more!) on Minecraft. "Imma" means "I'm going to," apparently, though some have used it just to "sound cool" by typing things like "Imma love chocolate" or "Imma in love with Justin Bieber."

I'm just waiting for the day when someone says, "Imma idiot."

3. Excessive Swearing

Swearing is used, supposedly, to make a point. But when you use the "F" word five thousand times over about every little thing (whether it's a good thing or a bad thing), you really lose all of your power. I like what my parents have said about swearing:

"You should be able to express yourself well with the billions of different good words in the world before you go around using the small handful of bad ones."


"Obama's a Muslim." "Taylor Swift kissed Justin Bieber." "Gays use witchcraft." To that I say, "You obviously know nothing about our president," "No she didn't, otherwise she'd be in every entertainment magazine known to man," and "Stop being ridiculous."

5. Spamming

Most people on Minecraft just want to play. That's why it was invented in the first place. For entertainment. We don't want to see the message, "OMG I JUST ATE THE BEST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE EVER" pop up on our screen twenty times while trying to build a house or kill a zombie. It's distracting, annoying, and rude.

6. "I'm bored."

You're bored?!?! Then get off the freaking computer and read a book or go outside! You know, there's this really cool thing that's been invented. You might not know about it yet, since you've apparently been on for the past forty-eight hours, but it's called 'nature.' There are other living things that are out there, and trees, and grass, and all sorts of other things just waiting to be discovered! We don't even know you, so why should we care that you're bored? If you want me to be your personal entertainer, I'd better be getting paid for this. I love this quote by Louis CK. 

“I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.'”

7. Stalkers

These people just creep me out and usually end up getting banned for being inappropriate. I've seen guys try to get girls to go to the prom with them. I also saw a girl try to get a guy's phone number. One guy tried to get someone's address, and succeeded, might I add, because the girl thought the guy was "hot."

By the way, you can't see people on Minecraft. You get fake avatars!

8. Phone Numbers and Skype Usernames

People go around giving out phone numbers and Skype usernames all over the place! They obviously don't know anything about being safe on the internet. If I had written down every bit of personal information that I've seen on Minecraft, I could contact enough people to form my own private army. Well, maybe not that large, but I could probably contact a good few dozen people.

9. Putting In Your Two Cents . . . Or A Whole Dollar

You could make a fantastic point, have the most incredible idea, or have a world-changing plan and I wouldn't take you seriously if you didn't spell anything right. If you want to talk about your opinions, talk to your friends and family, or start a blog! That's part of the reason I love blogging. I can write about anything I want and if people care enough to read it, they will, but they don't have to. It's not being shoved in their face like it is on Minecraft. I absolutely love the servers where you can turn off public chatting so you can just play. That's why I play single player, too.

And for the last time: OBAMA IS NOT A MUSLIM.

10. "I really shouldn't be on here . . . but . . ."

"My mom grounded me for a month because I stayed up playing Minecraft instead of doing my homework, which means no more Minecraft for a month, but I got on, anyway." "My colage [sic] won't let me use the dorm wifi for video games, but they don't know. ;)" "I called into work sick so I could play Minecraft all day."

?!?!?!?! You know your boss, your college, and your mom can find all of this out, right? One screenshot or one click of the "show all history" button will cause you to lose your job, your computer privileges, and get you into some serious trouble with your college. Though, you spelled "college" wrong, so I'm not sure how much you care.

This rant was brought to you by M.O.R.O.N.


Boquinha said...

Hilarious! That stuff would drive me nuts, too. I agree with all the sentiments expressed.

To be clear, I don't have a particular problem with swearing now and then - it can sometimes be extremely effective for emphasis in some situations, BUT if the person doing it doesn't have the vocabulary to express herself in any other way, then that's just lazy. It should be a thought out choice, not an ignorant default. (And since kids are in the process of building up their vocabularies, kids shouldn't generally be swearing ... ahem). :P

Anyway, excellent post.

Imma . . . UGH.

Boquinha said...

And thank you for the Mother's Day wishes. I love you!

Layla and Josiah said...

Bahahahaha!!!!! Hilarious! Ah, I wish I could join, but I'm not allowed to give out my e-mail address:( *sniff sniff*:( :( :( :(


Emily Foley said...

I do NOT get minecraft. We only have it as an iPad app and I just don't understand the game. In fact I didn't even know you played with other people.

I hate swearing, and so does Isaac. In fact we wrote letters to President Obama in cub scouts a few weeks ago and Isaac's letter said "please pass a law that makes swearing illegal." He has actually come home from school crying more than once because he is so sick of hearing bad words. So I'm with you there!

Dr. Mark said...

Nice post!

It's fun to see all of your frustrations in print. I think so much of that stuff is just people being lazy, and that's frustrating in and of itself.

And I'm with Mommy on "Imma." It's right up there with "prolly."

Anonymous said...

I especially agree with #9 - just start a blog, or whatever! No one asked for your opinion.

I think people do so much stupid stuff on the Internet because they think it's anonymous. Obviously it's not as secretive as they think (for example people who comment on my blog can't hide their email addresses so I know if it's a "friend" trolling or whatever") but they think they can get away with all kinds of nonsense.

The Magic Violinist said...

"Imma" has to be the worst fake word EVER. That and "prolly." ;P Love you!

Thanks, Layla! :D That's too bad, but I totally understand.

Honestly, I think the Minecraft app is REALLLLLLLY bad. Minecraft on the computer (though it is costly) is a BAZILLION times better. And that's cool that Isaac wrote a letter to Obama about that! ;)

Thanks, Daddy! :D "Prolly" is terrible. ;P

Ha ha, no one EVER asks for anyone's opinion on Minecraft. ;P Lucky for us, they just volunteer their opinion. XD That's nice that you always know who's commenting. ;)

Bethy said...

Agree wholeheartedly!! I've never played Minecraft but this stuff can relate to pretty much anything. Also, the word "freaking" is okay. I use it occasionally but when people use it EVERY other word, So. Annoying!! That and "like"! Makes me so angry!

Bethy said...

Oh and my e-mail (though I don't know how often I'll be able to do it this summer..:/) is (My other e-mail was made when I was 12 so it's a tad ridiculous. I don't give it out. Haha.

The Magic Violinist said...

Thanks, Bethy! :D People who do this dry me so crazy:

"And he was like--and I was like--and it was just, like, so, like, you know?"

The Magic Violinist said...

Whoops! I meant "people like this DRIVE me so crazy." ;P

Bethy said...

Haha. Yeah, I was at drivers Ed this past winter, and a girl raised her hand and could NOT just come out and say her question. She said, "well like, I mean like, what if like, I mean" And I am NOT exaggerating one bit! She went one for at least 2 minutes like that. It was ridiculous.

The Magic Violinist said...

Sheesh! That must've been so frustrating!

Bethy said...

It was! All the other teenagers were laughing at her and being mean but I just wanted the teacher to move on! Oh drivers Ed was a trying time...haha.

Rich said...

Then im part of those 2 things! Imma gonna doia what i wanna! :D and, cya and BAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D and btw, i only do "Hai" pretty much anymore, but "Imma" is just a habit... and beleave me, i have seen enough swearing and spamming on servers you wouldn't beleave, and giving out phone numbers, addresses, is just plan stupid.

Anonymous said...

I love this! I'll post anytime. I have bunches of tales! In fact, when I was in college, I actually took the time to make up my own "parking tickets" for people doing utterly (notice, it's not udderly!) ridiculous things! I'd just had it.

Here's my latest tale: a student wrote a paper about White Nose Syndrome in bats and how it is killing so many bats in Pennsylvania. She wrote that WNS wakes up the bats during hibernation and this causes them to burn too much body fat, which contributes to their death. She wrote: "the bats die from emancipation." Hmmm...I don't think people are releasing bats and saying, "Be free, be free...." then the bats drop dead! Use words you know! Ugh. Endless battle.

Boquinha said...

Seventytwofishes, have you read "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves?" You'd love it. (You, too, TMV)!

Boquinha said...

Also? That story is hilarious. At least they entertain you, right?

The Magic Violinist said...

Seriously. ;P If some crazy murderer went onto Minecraft and just stared at the chat for a few minutes, they'd be able to gather enough information to know where they lived. "Ding dong!" "Who is it?" "It's your buddy from Minecraft!" DO NOT GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION.

LOL, seventytwofishes! XD If you ever have an idea, just e-mail me and I'll figure out a time to put it up! :D