Tuesday, July 9, 2013

My Characters Have Issues--TCWT Blog Chain

I've only now noticed how much I've tortured them.

WARNING: There are spoilers from my books. But I doubt any of you will be able to remember what happens to whom by the time you actually read my books.

Prompt: “Take any character from one of your books and put them in a therapy session. Write a (short!) scene about what happens. (You can include multiple characters and make it a group therapy session.)”

(I'm the therapist).

Me: Okay, is everyone here?

Cassandra: Nope. Emmett's late again.

Me: I should've known he wouldn't get here on time. We might as well get started. He'll show up later. Why are you all here?

James: Because you've tortured us.

Me: I think torture is a bit harsh . . .

Clelia: Not really. I've watched my friend almost get beaten up by her co-workers, I've almost starved to death, I've fought giant spiders with only a dagger, I've watched a girl get killed by another girl, and I've almost been killed by a crazy fog.

Me: All right, maybe I was a little over the top . . .

(Anya suddenly snorts).

Anya: That's all you've had to deal with? Man, you got off easy.

Clelia: Easy? Easy?

Anya: Yeah. I've been chased by goblins dozens of times, I've gotten beat up quite a few times by a boy with a huge sword that I can't manage to get rid of, I've watched the emerald I've stolen get taken back by goblins, I've watched my best friend die--

Ronald: But I came back.

Anya: Right. And I actually have died and come back to life. Oh, right after falling off of a clock tower. And then I almost died in a fire I set to a Healing House.

Me: Come on, guys. This isn't a contest.

Ronald: Hey, I've died before.

Anya: But I brought you back.

Ronald: It was still extremely terrifying.

James: I watched my little sister get killed. Doesn't that count for something?

Emmett: I accidentally killed my wife with a potion I brewed.

Clara: When did you get here?

Emmett: I'm a bandit. I sneaked in. What did you expect?

Clara: I watched my best friend get killed who didn't come back, and I died myself.

Cricket: But then you came back. I actually just died and stayed dead.

Stephanie: I've been chased by evil wizards all the way from Pennsylvania to New York.

Ivy: I was with her and I almost got killed by intergalactic space pirates.

Stephanie: By a sweater of doom.

Ivy: It hurt!

Me: I think we're all getting a little out of hand. We're supposed to be helping each other heal, not--

Nutty: I've been dumped in Antarctica!

Chippy: So have I! How is a chipmunk supposed to handle that?

Nutty: And a squirrel. I'm sitting right here.

Chippy: I've been chased by a dog . . . twice.

Katherine: Hey, I've watched six knights die when nobody else believed they were dead--

Kristin: So have I.

Katherine: --And I got chased by two knights who didn't believe us and thought we were crazy--

Kristin: So have I.

Katherine: --And I had to hide in a forest that had dangerous magical creatures in it--

Kristin: I did, too.

Katherine: --AND I fought in a battle against dangerous magical creatures that were trying to kill the queen. Kristin? Anything else you'd like to add?

Kristin: You forgot that your house was set on fire.

Katherine: Oh, right.

Me: Okay, let's stop all of this and get started with--

Cornelia: I was chased by trolls and a giant all over the United States! Then when I finally got back to Fantasya I had to fight in a battle that killed several friends. And then I had to go to the castle Gargamouth was in and stand by while Cassandra tried to defeat him! Oh yeah, and my daughter died. I knew letting her go to try and defeat the trolls was a bad idea.

Cricket: It wasn't my fault, it was Clara's! If she had warned me in time about that troll . . .

Clara: Hey! I was heartbroken!

Cricket: I'm just kidding.

Cassandra: I did all that, plus become an orphan at age two, not know if my sister was alive until eight years later, get taken in right after my parents died by a kind unicorn named Caroline who died just a few years later, and then--just when I thought things were going well--my husband gets killed.

(Everyone stares at Cassandra in stunned silence).

Me: You win.

How traumatized are your characters? As you can see, mine all have severe cases of PTSD. Leave a comment! :D

July 9th – http://themagicviolinist.blogspot.com/ 
(You are here)
26th – http://teenscanwritetoo.wordpress.com/ (We’ll be announcing the topic for next month’s chain.)


Boquinha said...

Hilarious! Annnnnd a bit disturbing. That's a lot of disgruntled characters!

I love how it wrapped up. So so funny. Great post!

B-alex said...

Great post :) I loved the competition between your characters to see who has suffered the most!

By the way, I checked out your sidebar and wanted to know how you got an internship with The Write Practice? I subscribed a couple of months ago and it's such a great resource!

The Magic Violinist said...

@Boquinha Thanks! :D Plenty of them are very mad at me, but I think they learn to like what happens to them in the end. (It's always for the best! Why can't they just understand that)? ;)

@B-alex Thanks for stopping by! :D

In answer to your question (to make a long story short), the person who runs the website (Joe Bunting), put up a post saying that they were looking for two regular contributors. I sent in an application and he responded telling me that he thought the application was great, but he wasn't looking for kids to contribute. See, he wanted the contributors to have a presence on social media, too, and since I was a bit young to do that (12, at the time), he said I could still be a monthly contributor and still stay safe online.

(I believe they're looking for more contributors, if you're interested. I'm not sure when the deadline is, but the post is fairly recent. You should be able to find it without any problems).

Fida Islaih said...

I can't help to say this is funny, but then the characters will come after me. Thanks for sharing! This is a book I'd love to read (:

B-alex said...


Thanks :) I think it's great that you're a monthly contributor - what an awesome way to become a better blogger and learn from some of the best!

Charley Robson said...

Awww, poor traumatised babies! Although "Death By Sweater of Doom" should definitely be right up there on Most Unintentionally Hilarious Ways To Die.

alifeonmission said...

Wow. That...is hilarious. "You win." xD

-- Amanda F

Roselle Zubey said...

Your post was really great. I really liked the competition between the characters to see who suffered the most, too. Good luck with the blog chain.

The Magic Violinist said...

@Fidah Thanks! :D Do you have a blog? I couldn't find one when I clicked on your name.

@B-alex I feel extremely lucky to have such an amazing opportunity!

@Charley Ha! XD I love the "Plot Machine" on the YWP for NaNoWriMo. ;) My 2011 novel was a little insane.

@Amanda Ha, thanks! XD

@Roselle Thanks! :D Yes, they tend to get very competitive when it comes to suffering.