Thursday, December 17, 2015

Why "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is Actually Extremely Creepy and Stalkerish

One of my favorite parts of this time of year is listening to Christmas songs. There are so many different kinds (bittersweet, fun, mellow, silly, etc.) but they all make you feel warm and fuzzy and get you into the holiday spirit. But there's one song that has always struck me as, well, just plain creepy. And that song is "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Just look at the lyrics below (with my many personal notes) and you'll see what I mean.

I really can't stay - Baby, it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby, it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
(Okay, mister, she's told you twice that she needs to go. So let her go!)
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry?
(She just told you!)
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fire place roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
(You've crossed the line from rude and pushy to slightly creepy and possessive now.)
But maybe just half a drink more - Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say what's in this drink? - No cabs to be had out there
(Dude, what the heck did you put in her drink?! Here's a list of times it's appropriate to put something in someone else's drink without their knowledge: 1. NEVER)
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no no no, sir - Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride?
(Your pride? Really? You need to back off, she's already said she wants to leave!)
I really can't stay - Baby, don't hold out
Baby it's cold outside
(You're very pushy you know)
(I'd like to think of it as opportunistic)
(No, you're just pushy.)

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is "No" - But, baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - How lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm - Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Gosh your lips look delicious
(Ew, pick your moments, dude. Are you even listening to her?)
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips are delicious
(Again: EW)
But maybe just a cigarette more - Never such a blizzard before

I've got to get home - Baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me a coat? - It's up to your knees out there
(Some common sense! If it's cold, grab a coat. And let her gooo.)
You've really been grand - I thrill when you touch my hand
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me?
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Think of my life-long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you got pneumonia and died
(And now we get a guilt trip? Really? It's her decision and she's already presented a solution to the cold!)
I really can't stay - Get over that hold out
Baby it's cold
Baby it's cold outside
(Okay, fine, just another drink)
(That took a lot of convincing)
(*headdesks repeatedly*)

Do you see my point?

What are your favorite/least favorite Christmas songs and why? Leave a comment! 


Grace Robinson said...

I like your commentary - and it's so accurate! :-P At the time this song was written, it wasn't considered inappropriate or creepy, but rather just cute - but our social customs have since changed (or at least, they should have changed by now). This isn't my least favorite Christmas song of all time, but I never listen to it voluntarily (even the Idina Menzel version, and I'm a huge fan of hers). :-P

Unknown said...

I was just thinking this Christmas season that it has a really creepy angle to it, depending on how you interpret the character motivations and intentions. Especially since the guy is trying to ply her with (extra strong) alcohol, which has particularly bad connotations, as you noted.

Carly said...

YESSSSSS. I love this analysis. Your commentary is 100% correct. I've always found Chrsitmas a little creepishly weird at times. Especially the idea of Santa, but that's another subject in itself. XD My favorite Christmas song has to be "Last Christmas." It brings back so many good memories for me.

The Magic Violinist said...

@Grace I can see that, and I get listening to music in the context of when it was written. I'm just surprised it's still so popular! :P Now I just shake my head whenever it comes on the radio.

@Unknown Exactly! I totally agree.

@Carly Oh my gosh, I have friends who used to be terrified of Santa as a kid. xD I guess in some way it could be kind of creepy depending on how you think about it. I like "Last Christmas," too!

Boquinha said...

I *love* Michael Bublé, but you are absolutely right about this song and this version particularly. I love that you're an empowered feminist that sees these things. :D

The Magic Violinist said...

@Boquinha I know, I wish his version weren't the creepiest because he can actually sing it well!

Boquinha said...

An added thought here. I've been thinking about how creepy it sounds to the woman, but holy hell, you'd think a guy singing it would feel like a lecher! Yuck.