More Than Words

I mentioned a while back that I was taking a poetry course, and it went fabulously! I moved on to the second level of the course where we go a little deeper into revisions and the nitty gritty of poetry. It's really helped me not just look at the poem as a whole, but at word choice, too, and how the stanzas flow together.

I wanted to share some of the results with a poem I've been working on for my final project, another "fictionalized" piece (meaning the characters in the poem are just that, fictional characters) that goes along with a novel I'm writing now. It's been roughly 5-6 weeks in the making so far, but hopefully I'm getting somewhere.

More Than Words
Kate I. Foley 

You speak of second chances,

first glances,

redemption and resurrection,

blissfully unaware:

I’m not on my second chance,

but my third, my fourth.

Dealt a bad hand, over and

over and

over,

I’ll flash a smile,

bluff my way past your

well-meaning questions,

hold these cards close to my chest to protect

you from myself.

I’m okay.

Lips tugging,

shoulders shrugging.

I don’t know what you want from me,

But I want you.

You, you, you.

From waves of golden hair fine enough to have been

spun from straw in a fairytale.

From eyes that pierce my soul and make me

feel more human.

From a laugh that is music itself,

Beethoven’s envy,

my favorite song to

sing myself to sleep.

I don’t deserve you.

And yet you’ve borrowed my voice,

transformed it into a piece of artwork

I no longer recognize.

You’ve turned yourself into a mirror,

desperate and delusional,

don’t you see how I see you?

The words lodge

in my throat,

my words.

They are nothing without

a voice to string them through the air,

dangle them where you can

see. I am broken.

Don’t you know what I’ve done?

To you, there’s still hoping.

You think you’ll be the one to

fix this. We can fix this.

Three syllables are so heavy.

I can’t take any more weight on these

aching shoulders. Let me tell you without

words. Let me brush the back of your hand with

my fingertips. Let me tell you with

a smile. Let me drive while you sleep

passenger side. Let me hold you close when

night comes.

Just for a moment.

Only for a moment.

Long enough to tell myself that

maybe, I could

deserve you one day.

Long enough to convince myself that

one day I will be able to carry those words,

and it will be beautiful.

What did you think? If you have any suggestions for me, I'd love to hear them in the comments! Poetry is still definitely my weak point when it comes to writing, so I welcome whatever constructive criticism you have. :)