So since writing 50,000 words of a single project in a month tends to get me burned out on whatever I'm writing, I've put Ms. Holmes aside for a while. I'll finish it up eventually, but for now, I'm super excited to work on my newest project. It's a YA paranormal romance called 'Til the Last Star Dies. (Thanks to my friends Sammy and Charlie for giving me that creative spark to write this!)
Here is my (very rough) synopsis:
Lila is a witch. One of the firstborn, to be exact, which makes her powerful. And dangerous. And in demand. The demon Angelique has a plan for the world, one that involves cities devoured in flame and dying stars. If Angelique can convince Lila to join her army, the universe will have reason to quake in fear.
But there's another complication. Melody. Lila's fallen for her, and if there's anything Lila can do to protect her, she'll do it. This means Angelique will have to find another way to get Lila to succumb to the darkness. And Melody is the perfect bargaining chip . . .
Although it definitely needs a lot of editing, at least you have the set up for the story. Now let's get to the fun stuff!
Meet the characters
Lila Evangeline, one of the main characters. Tough as nails and with power to spare, Lila has an equal amount of light and darkness in her. She's careful to keep herself in control so she doesn't end up hurting those she loves, something most witches don't bother to do. She has a strong personality, but she isn't unfriendly. Most everyone can count on her for a drink and a good laugh. Being in the middle of a crowd is where she feels right at home, mostly because she has the ability to make people move out of the way without even trying when she's weaving through a large group of people. Something about the confidence she carries helps her maneuver through the chaos, turning heads in a way that shows she doesn't care in the slightest if she does or not. Lila very much believes in the power of positive thinking and that the universe will reward you for it. She doesn't necessarily believe in a god, but some kind of higher power, a force you can't see.
Melody Ryan Foster, the second of my main characters. Having been abused by her older brothers and orphaned for a good portion of her life, Melody has trust issues. She's hesitant to let many people in, but Lila gets her guard down. Mel's a sweetheart. Kind of quiet, but totally willing to give you the clothes off her back without you even having to ask for them. This makes it easy to take advantage of her, but she can ultimately get along with anybody. Melody calls herself a realist, but her outlook on things in life in general is pessimistic, largely because of her hard experiences. She believes things happen for a reason and that's that, no way to explain them, nothing you can do about it.
Angelique "Angie" Victoria, LaLaurie, aka the big baddie of the novel. Despite being short, her imposing personality makes her seem taller. Angie also constantly changes her appearance and persona to avoid detection from the humans who try to track her down. She's smart and powerful and willing to sacrifice anything and anyone (excluding herself, of course) to get what she wants. Her longing to destroy and conquer comes from a deep-rooted loathing of humans after they killed her twin sister, Juliette. Once she learned the hard way just how despicable they could be, she went full-on demon. Now she believes the only way to cleanse the planet is to rid it of all humanity until only witches and demons remain.
Jordan James, best friend to Lila. He's insanely protective of his family and friends and would literally fight to his last breath and die if it meant saving them. He tends to keep his feelings to himself, choosing instead to mask his pain with jokes and sarcasm and well-practiced smirks. It works for the most part, though sometimes he finds himself breaking down in front of Lila or Toni. He carries guilt with him like weights on his shoulders and takes on more than he can chew, though he'd never admit it. Though he may be rough around the edges, his heart bursts with love for everyone he's close to and would do anything for them. He's extremely smart as well as being great at fighting against the demons and witches that attack him during his travels. He's kind and funny and always available to be a shoulder to cry on.
Antoinette "Toni" Yvette Moreau, girlfriend of Jordan's. Toni usually tries to hide her emotions behind a smile and a joke or a quip, but sometimes her temper just sort of blows up. Her way of showing that she cares about a person is to try to protect them, despite how it effects her. Her selflessness is probably what drew her to Jordan in the first place, seeing as they're so similar. She cares more for other people’s happiness than her own and is a fantastic cook, in addition to being totally witty. She never fails to make the others laugh.
Elizabeth Rivers, "little sister" to Jordan and Toni. After showing up on Jordan's doorstep, covered in blood and with nowhere else to go, the two took her in. She's tiny, but she’ll kick anyone’s butt if they’re standing between her and her family. She’s bubbly, funny, helpful, kind, stubborn, and always smiling. She’s extraordinarily clumsy and a terrible cook, always burning things, setting appliances on fire, making a mess, and just ends up breaking things in her general vicinity. When she sets her mind to it, though, she can be completely focused and coordinated in combat, and has lots of fight in her.
Location, location, location
After a randomtotally professional "close-your-eyes-and-point" method, I decided the perfect place to set the story was in Sterling, Colorado. Here are a few glimpses at the town.
(Granted, I'm not sure that mountain is actually in Sterling, but the characters do go on the run at some point, so it'll show up in the story eventually.)
(You can see more pictures of my characters and setting and many other things on my Pinterest board!)
Music, Maestro!
I am in looove with this soundtrack!! Anytime I hear one of these songs now, I get all the fuzzy feels because it just fits with the story so. perfectly. But I think I'm making "Favourite Colour" the ultimate theme song since I can't picture anything else but Lila and Melody when I hear it.
"She Waits" -- Louden Swain
"Slip" -- Elliot Moss
"Home Sweet Home" -- Mötley Crüe
"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" -- Aerosmith
"Dream" -- Imagine Dragons
"I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else" -- A Great Big World
"Can't Help Falling In Love" -- Ingrid Michaelson
"Favourite Colour" -- Carly Rae Jepsen
"End of the World" -- A Great Big World
"Mars" -- Sleeping At Last
"Jupiter" -- Sleeping At Last
"Pour Some Sugar On Me" -- Def Leppard
What I'm most excited about
The budding romance between Lila and Melody. The sarcastic quips tossed back and forth involving Lila and Jordan. Seeing Melody break out of her shell. Lizzy being a klutz. The ending. All of the characters being adorable and kickbutt all at the same time. And much, much more. What I'm curious about
Although I have a pretty good outline for the story overall, I never know what exactly is going to happen. I'm along for the ride as much as my characters are. So I'm interested to see how certain things turn out, such as Angelique. I'm almost positive I know how she's going to be, but 99% of the time my villains surprise me. And judging from how the story's progressing so far, I have a feeling Lila and Melody's relationship isn't going to go as smoothly as I thought (not that it was going to be smooth in the first place, but it's less like mint chip and more like rocky road now). I guess I'll have to wait and see . . .
Your turn! What project are you working on right now? What are you most excited for/curious about? Leave a comment! :)
One of my favorite parts of this time of year is listening to Christmas songs. There are so many different kinds (bittersweet, fun, mellow, silly, etc.) but they all make you feel warm and fuzzy and get you into the holiday spirit. But there's one song that has always struck me as, well, just plain creepy. And that song is "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Just look at the lyrics below (with my many personal notes) and you'll see what I mean.
I really can't stay - Baby, it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby, it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice (Okay, mister, she's told you twice that she needs to go. So let her go!)
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry? (She just told you!)
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fire place roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry (You've crossed the line from rude and pushy to slightly creepy and possessive now.)
But maybe just half a drink more - Put some records on while I pour
The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say what's in this drink? - No cabs to be had out there (Dude, what the heck did you put in her drink?! Here's a list of times it's appropriate to put something in someone else's drink without their knowledge: 1. NEVER)
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no no no, sir - Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride? (Your pride? Really? You need to back off, she's already said she wants to leave!)
I really can't stay - Baby, don't hold out
Baby it's cold outside
(You're very pushy you know)
(I'd like to think of it as opportunistic) (No, you're just pushy.)
I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is "No" - But, baby, it's cold outside (NO MEANS NO)
This welcome has been - How lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm - Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Gosh your lips look delicious (Ew, pick your moments, dude. Are you even listening to her?)
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips are delicious (Again: EW)
But maybe just a cigarette more - Never such a blizzard before
I've got to get home - Baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me a coat? - It's up to your knees out there (Some common sense! If it's cold, grab a coat. And let her gooo.)
You've really been grand - I thrill when you touch my hand
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me?
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Think of my life-long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you got pneumonia and died (And now we get a guilt trip? Really? It's her decision and she's already presented a solution to the cold!)
I really can't stay - Get over that hold out
Baby it's cold
Baby it's cold outside
(Okay, fine, just another drink)
(That took a lot of convincing) (*headdesks repeatedly*)
Do you see my point?
What are your favorite/least favorite Christmas songs and why? Leave a comment!
So this was originally going to be a "Top 10" post, because that's a nice, even number that are often used in "Top XYZ" posts. But then it stretched into twelve, so I thought, okay, that'll work because there are twelve Doctors. Then it just kept getting longer, so I made it fifteen for 2015. Basically what I'm trying to say is that there are just too many good Doctor Who quotes to possibly include them all! After lots of consideration, I finally narrowed it down to my absolute favorites, but it doesn't even scratch the surface.
(Plus, this post gave me a chance to mess around with photo editing, which I always enjoy! I think putting the images together took longer than actually picking the quotes . . . maybe.)
Tenth Doctor, "Doomsday"
Eleventh Doctor, "The Big Bang"
Eleventh Doctor, "The Pandorica Opens"
Eleventh Doctor, "The Power of Three"
Amy Pond, "The Girl Who Waited"
Ninth Doctor, "Rose"
Eleventh Doctor, "Vincent and the Doctor"
Tenth Doctor, "The Lazarus Experiment."
Tenth Doctor, "Fear Her"
Eleventh Doctor, "The Almost People"
Rose Tyler, "The Parting of the Ways"
Eleventh Doctor, "A Christmas Carol"
Twelfth Doctor, "Listen"
Eleventh Doctor, "The Time of the Doctor"
Eleventh Doctor, "Official BBC Series 5 Trailer"
What are your favorite "Doctor Who" quotes? Leave a comment!
This book just confirms my theory that Sarah J. Maas is a genius. It's hard to even describe just how much I'm loving this series without using all caps and saying things like, "OMG I CAN'T." But OMG I CAN'T. The characters, gah, she does such a good job of simultaneously making you love them and also want to smack them upside the head. Several times. I adore Calaena (even if I can never spell her name right the first--or second--time), and I ship her and Chaol so hard. This book also brings you pain, and lots of it. Always a plus. *she says sarcastically as she tosses her heart into a blender to rid herself of this pain* Also the cover is sooo pretty.
(Apparently books with "midnight" in the title looked good to me this month.) This reminded me a lot of Paper Towns if Paper Towns were urban
fantasy. It's a very unique premise and story world, so I was drawn in
right away. The set up was a little slower than I would've liked, but
the end was nothing but action and plot twists. I liked the characters
well enough, but if you're looking for a book with fantastic characters
that stay with you forever, this is definitely not the one for you. I
loved the plot the whole way through because it stayed mostly
consistent, but had enough twists and turns to keep you on the edge of
your seat. It was a great "read-it-in-a-few-days" kind of book,
something fun and magical. I wouldn't reread it or anything, but it was a
week of reading well spent.
Meh. The story was interesting enough, but verrry slow. And wordy. I skimmed a lot of it. But hey, it's a classic, and I'm glad I've read it now.
Movies I Watched
"Damn Yankees"
3.5/5
Read my review HERE. I've been wanting to watch more musicals in general, so this was a good
one to start out with. There wasn't a super complicated plot or anything
that was hard to follow, but the music was fun, as well as the story.
The songs are extremely catchy. I also really liked the Applegate character. There was
something quirky about him that reminded me of Crowly from "Supernatural," and he made me laugh a few times. I took a couple points off for the cheese factor (granted, it's bound to
happen with most musicals), but for the most part it was really good.
"Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog"
5/5
So. Good. It basically has a dream cast (Felicia Day, Nathan Fillion, and Neil Patrick Harris all in the same movie?!) and the songs are brilliant. And the story. Basically everything is awesome. And it's Joss Whedon, so be prepared for both laughter and tears! It's like "Megamind" if Joss Whedon had been in charge of it.
"The Court Jester"
4/5
Read my review HERE. A lot of people say that this movie is a musical, but there were very
few songs in it, maybe three total. But the story itself was really good
and funny, and the main character in particular was great. He had a lot
of slapstick but clever comedy. It gave off a "Princess Bride" or
"Galavant" (Which by the way is coming back for season 2! My whole family is so excited.) kind of vibe. It's fairly old (it was released in 1956), but you don't really notice
it like you do with other movies. The acting was actually pretty good,
and there weren't any big special effects that just made you laugh at
how bad it was. I really enjoyed it. It was light, fluffy, and funny.
"Casino Royale"
4/5
This movie was great! It was my first James Bond and I'm excited to watch more. Constant edge-of-your-seat action with some truly awesome stunts (the first twenty minutes or so had me absolutely glued to the screen), and the tricks he plays on the bad guys reminded me of the heists in "Ocean's Eleven."
"The Wiz"
1/5
Read my review HERE. I don't use a one-star rating often, but this was just cringe-worthy.
Everything was melodramatic, inconsistent, or just plain bad. The story is pretty much entirely the same as "The Wizard of Oz" (which
is a musical I only like okay), except it's far more depressing. The
setting always seems to be dark and gray and rundown, the buildings are
abandoned or look like factories, and there's trash everywhere. The
songs are also mediocre at best with lyrics capable of being written by
an eight-year-old. The choreography was repetitive throughout the entire
movie, and the acting was extremely bad. My brother and I laughed out
loud several times, but only because something was so cheesy. Most of
the time we were groaning or fast-forwarding through songs that never
ended. If something deserved only thirty seconds of attention, it lasted
for a good five minutes. And scenes that should've been dragged out for
dramatic effect were over in the blink of an eye. (Note: This is a review for the original movie not the live performance!)
"Hamlet"
5/5
So a small theater in our area showed a live broadcast of "Hamlet" starring Benedict freaking Cumberbatch on the London stage. It was phenomenal. It was word for word from the original play, except the costumes and sets were designed to be more modern, which was pretty cool. Cumberbatch is one of my favorite current actors, hands down. You could hand him any role and he could play it fabulously.
"Singing In the Rain"
3.5/5
This was a fun one! It had good music, simple plot, and even a couple laugh-out-loud moments. I'm happy I watched a classic like this.
Obsessions I Acquired
Society6 -This is such an addictive site! I had to exercise a lot of self-control when browsing it, because there are so many awesome geeky t-shirts and mugs and pillows and posters and anything you could imagine, really. I got myself a few fangirly/bookish things that I really love, though . . .
I put this up in my reading nook with my fuzzy blanket and funky multicolored light.
"Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog" soundtrack - Especially "My Freeze Ray," "My Eyes," and "So They Say." Again, the music from that movie is brilliant! It's funny and clever and catchy, all at the same time. Seriously, just listen to these few below. Or better yet, just watch the whole thing yourself on YouTube! Or both.
"Broadchurch" - Two words: David Tennant. Basically anything he's in I want to watch because I know it'll be good. And this series absolutely is! It's a murder mystery detective show set in a small beach town in England. David Tennant's character, Alec Hardy, is very different from the Doctor. He's far more cynical and, of course, Scottish. (His accent is super cool.) There are only eight episodes in each season, so it's a quick watch. Season 2 just got added to Netflix a couple days ago, too! And I may or may not have binge-watched the entire season the day it got added . . . *totally did*
"iZombie" - I didn't have high hopes for this show, to be honest. The commercials I'd seen on TV didn't appeal to me until I saw that it was another Rob Thomas creation and a couple friends had recommended it. I was pleasantly surprised. It's about zombies, but it's not your typical paranormal show. It's almost like it's another "Veronica Mars" show with a quirky zombie twist. I love the main characters, too, especially Ravi. Ravi's the best.
"Jane the Virgin" - Thanks for the suggestion, Mom! One of the best shows I've seen in a while. It's so addictive and absolutely insane. There's a plot twist every ten minutes, a cliffhanger in each episode, and characters you absolutely love (including the off screen-narrator!). It's clever in every way. I highly recommend it.
Quotes I Wrote
Apparently I'd totally forgotten this section a couple times . . . oops. Fixing that now!
The silence passed uncomfortably, Jordan scrubbing at the
dishes, Lila petting Toni’s head while squirming in her seat. She was bursting
at the seams with words unspoken, but there were far too many sitting in a
jumbled mess for her to make any sense of them. She had no idea where to start.
“You could
start at the beginning,” Jordan suggested, as if he’d read her mind, when in
reality it was just seven years of friendship. Well, if you counted the two
years they’d been apart.
“It’s not
that easy.”
Jordan
shrugged and dried his hands on a dishtowel, leaning against the counter as
Toni trotted over to him. Her nails clicked on the tile floor and she rubbed
against his legs like a cat might. “It’s never as complicated as it seems once
you start talking.”
Lila bit
her lower lip and continued to wring her hands in her lap. “I still feel awful
about it.”
“I forgave
you the day you left.”
“You
shouldn’t have.”
“Too
bad.” -'Til the Last Star Dies
Jordan sighed heavily and stood back up, apparently
resolving himself to the fact that he wouldn't be getting anything else out of
her tonight. “Can you promise me something?”
“Depends on
what it is.”
He leaned
against the door, one hand on the doorknob. “Don't mistake Toni and Lizzy as
some kind of replacement. My relationships with them are completely different
from mine with you.”
At this,
she was able to somewhat deflect the conversation with a smirk and an, “Oh I've
noticed.”
“What's
that supposed to mean?”
She
shrugged and examined her nails, tone breezy, casual, because she knew this
would aggravate him even more. “Well your aura was especially bright
once Toni sat down next to you.”
He
sputtered for a couple seconds, then finally said, “You know, sometimes your
attention to detail drives me crazy.”
“Always
happy to help.” -'Til the Last Star Dies
Lila motioned to her with a long-fingered hand. Artist’s
hands, Melody found herself thinking. Her hands looked the part of a witch,
like they could create something out of thin air, something magical. -'Til the Last Star Dies
Picture of the Month
Astrid Holmes, the protagonist in my most recent NaNoWriMo novel, Ms. Holmes. You can read more about her and the book with the "Ms. Holmes" tag on my blog. Click HERE to look through it!
Like Sleepy Hollow, this one was a little wordy with no real purpose to be. It kind of muddled the rest of the story, which I liked. It reminded me a lot of a Sherlock Holmes story.
Movies I Watched
"The Martian"
4/5
This met all of my expectations! It really stuck to the book for the most part, which I appreciated, and kept my attention the entire time. It's not an action movie necessarily, but it certainly had its intense moments, even for someone like me who knew what was coming. I did like the ending to the movie better than the book, because I feel like the book ending was a little rushed. I appreciated a bit more resolution.
"Tangled" (a rewatch)
5/5
It had been a while since I'd seen this movie, but I loved it. Rapunzel and Flynn are adorable, the movie was cute and funny, and the music is great. I'd watch it again.
"Les Misérables"
5/5
I LOVED THIS. My favorite musical, hands down. I cried at the end and had the songs stuck in my head for weeks. The story was so emotional and compelling, and just the whole thing was incredible. The acting, the singing, all of it. Anne Hathaway did an especially good job considering she was only in it for a short amount of time.
"Mockingjay: Part 2"
5/5
The perfect conclusion to the movie series, I think. I loved seeing the direct quotations from the book at the end. Jennifer Lawrence was great, as always, as were all of her co-stars. Josh Hutcherson only got better as the series went on. I did cry. A lot. But that was to be expected.
"Once"
5/5
Read my review HERE. Out of all the musicals I've watched so far, this definitely makes my top three. It's such
a simple plot, more of a glimpse into a musician's every day life than a
movie. It very much focuses on the characters and the music, which I
liked. And the music is fantastic, and very Indie. My favorite
song from it is one you've probably heard, "Falling Slowly," but every
song in it is so good. The accents are also very cool! A little hard to
understand at times since they're so thick, but I love hearing accents
from different countries. I won't give anything away, but I really liked
the ending, too. It's not your typical Hollywood ending.
"The Nightmare Before Christmas"
3/5
Read my review HERE. This is a fun movie with extremely catchy songs. It's great to watch
around Christmas time, but I also think it's a good Halloween movie. I'm
not always a huge fan of claymation, but this was done pretty well. The
plot was pretty simple and family friendly, the "creepiness" way toned
down. It's more goofy than it is scary. The only reason I took a couple
points off was because I didn't feel like I got to know the characters
that well and I didn't believe the chemistry between Jack and Sally.
Otherwise it was very enjoyable.
Obsessions I Acquired
The music from "Les Misérables" - As I mentioned before, I loved the music. It's nearly impossible to pick a favorite, but I do think it would be "One Day More" at the end of "Act 1" when all of the different songs come together to make one epic performance. It gave me chills.
"The 100" - It's been a great couple of months for me as far as TV shows go. It only took me a couple episodes to get into and then I was hooked. The characters and their dynamics are really what make the show. I love Clarke, Finn, Bellamy, Octavia, Kane, and so many others. And there are also characters I love to despise, and characters who are seemingly evil who surprise you. The survival aspect of it all is really fun to watch, too, especially since that's what I love to write a lot of the time. It reminded me a lot of my 2013 NaNoWriMo novel, actually, Flightless Birds. There's even a character named Raven who looks almost exactly like my protagonist!
Quotes I Wrote
As promised, there will be lots and lots of quotes from Ms. Holmes here!
I looked over my shoulder at her, eyebrows furrowed. “Blimey, you ask a lot of questions.”
Dawn shrugged now, lips twitching as if she weren’t sure whether or not to smile. “I’m a journalist, it’s what we do. Just answer.”
“Isn’t the person conducting the interview supposed to be the one actually, you know, interviewing the other?”
“Not if you’re in an interview with me. So what make you such a horrible flatmate?”
I flipped through an old and faded notebook, not paying her much attention as I had other thoughts flicking through my mind one after the other. There were more important things to focus on. “I’m insufferable.”
“Your words or others’?”
“Both.”
And to my surprise, Dawn flashed me a wide grin. Almost every tooth was showing, and there was a kind of mischievous twinkle in her eyes, the sort you’d see in a toddler or a cat. I opened my mouth to say something, but Dawn beat me to it.
“Well then, we’ll make a great team, won’t we?”
“Yes,” I murmured, more to myself than her, and set the notebook down. “I suppose we will.”
-Ms. Holmes
“Do you have something against people, Astrid, or just me?” Dawn suddenly snapped.
I blinked a couple times, too deeply focused on the device I was holding to give much thought to the answer. “I have nothing against people, but I have everything against idiots.”
Dawn laughed, but it was cold and humorless. Her smile didn’t meet her eyes. She was clearly offended, indignant. I ignored her and fiddled with one of the screws in the metallic glove-like gadget once I’d plopped back into my armchair.
“Excuse me?” She said, astounded.
Thinking maybe she hadn’t heard me right, I repeated, “I have everything against idiots.”
“Did you just call me an idiot?”
“No, I haven’t made up my mind about you yet.” I stuck my tongue between my teeth in concentration as I hunched more over the glove, sweat causing the screwdriver to slip against my palm. The fire I was sitting by had died down to embers, but it was still giving off an uncomfortable amount of heat. “So far you’re just annoying. Put the fire out, won’t you?”
-Ms. Holmes
“Créature immonde,” I grumbled under my breath at it when it [the cat] came creeping back into the living room to lay under the armchair, staring me down with a murderous look in its eyes. I wouldn't put it past it to try to suffocate me as I slept, which is why I kept the door closed now.
“Astrid,” Dawn said in a warning tone as she passed through the living room, eyebrows raised in my direction. “What have I said about the way you talk to Sir Mittens?”
“It can't understand me,” I insisted, still casting the cat a dirty look.
“He,” Dawn corrected me as she rifled through her messenger back. “And it's not about what you say, it's the tone you use. Whether you speak in English, French, German, or Japanese, the tone is still the same. It's not good for his behavior, he'll start to act up.”
“He's already acting up!” But Dawn cast me a look, and I grumbled, glancing away. “Fine, fine, I'll watch my tone . . .” -Ms. Holmes
“I'm tired of people using me!” I snapped, standing suddenly and storming over to the window to look outside at the passersby so I wouldn't have to look at him. “I knew there was a reason she was being kind, there's always something. Nobody's ever friendly with someone just for the sake of being nice. People are rarely so selfless.”
“You don't mean that,” Mr. Hudson said gently, though he remained standing where he was. “When has Ms. Lestrade ever used you like that? When have I?”
I flapped a hand dismissively in his direction. “Natalie isn't friendly, she's civil. We have a work relationship, that's it.” I gave him a little sideways grin, glancing over. “And you're an anomaly.”
Mr. Hudson chuckled. “I'll take that as a compliment.”
“Please do.”
-Ms. Holmes
“Are you sure this is safe?” Dawn asked as we headed down the streets that were second nature to us both, our feet carrying us to our destination without us even having to think about it.
At that, I grinned. “No.”
What thrilled me even more was the fact that Dawn grinned back.
-Ms. Holmes
I sighed and shook my head. “Dawn, it's not true. I know it isn't.”
“Why?”
“She said my enemies were hidden amongst my friends.”
“Your point?”
I rolled my eyes over to her, a bored and aggravated look on my face. “Dawn, I don't have friends.”
She looked taken aback by this, though I couldn't imagine why as it wasn't exactly a hidden fact. It was well known, by everyone. It was not something to be pitied, in fact, I prided myself on it. I didn't have friends. And wasn't it glorious?
All Dawn did was stuff her hands in her coat pockets and watch her shoes as we continued walking out of the station and down the streets, mumbling, “Right. Sure you don't.”
-Ms. Holmes
“Lies, Astrid,” she sighed heavily, in that same high-pitched tone Sahara had used back at the flat, though hers trembled more. She was excited. “You may not realize it yet, but you fool no one but yourself.” She leaned forward to whisper into my ear, barely an inch away from me, but I stood as still as I could. “Caring is nothing but weakness and pain. Love is a myth until you find the single person who can walk the same earth as you, follow the same path, and not get lost. Have you found that person yet?”
I stayed silent. I figured saying nothing at all was better than snapping and saying something I’d regret. My actions could have a negative effect on both Dawn and myself now.
“No?” Faye leaned back, turned on her heel, boots clicking against the concrete as she strode away. “Pity. Come on then.”
-Ms. Holmes
“A man is going to die, Astrid! Why don’t you care?”
I shrugged, folding my hands in my lap. “Why should I?”
Dawn gaped at me as if I’d slapped her across the face, like I’d personally offended her. Then, very slowly, she took a step back. It took me a second to register the look on her face, because it was one I’d never seen there. One I didn’t think I’d ever see there, not directed at me. Not from Dawn. Repulsion.
“What happened to you? What made you this way?”
I stood up from the chair and walked to the window, glancing out at the perpetually overcast sky, the rain sliding down the glass between the stuffy flat and the frigid outside. It was the best way to hide my face. “What’s the point of caring, Dawn? What good is it to love something only to have it blown away like dust? All things die. All things end. All we can do is try to minimize the agony of breathing.”
“And what’s the point of living if you don’t feel?” Dawn shot back, clearly meant to be an indignant snap, though her voice shook as she spoke.
“I feel plenty!” Turning my head toward her in time to see her take another step back made my stomach churn, but I couldn’t stop myself now. My eyes burned with the tears I’d repressed for years, everything I’d kept quiet for my own sake. To minimize the agony. “And I’m under no obligation to tell you about any of it. You aren’t my therapist, Dawn, and I don’t need one. Now shut the hell up, I can’t hear myself think.”
I kept my gaze fixed upon the tree curving elegantly in the wind outside, but I could still hear Dawn mutter darkly under her breath. I heard her shoes scuff against the floor as she snatched up her coat with an angry fwish noise. The slam of the door caused the ground to vibrate underneath my feet. Within seconds, her bristling form could be seen passing underneath the branches of the tree. I looked away.
-Ms. Holmes
Picture of the Month
My friend Charlie (who I talked a little bit about HERE) and me goofing off together.
