Hello Everyone!
I'm working on a story called "Archers of the Sky". Here is the prologue. (PLEASE give criticism).
Prologue
Tarice was sitting cross-legged, hovering ever so slightly above the ground, eyes closed in deep thought.
Suddenly, an image burst clear into her head; A tall, skinny girl, with waist-length black hair running through the woods, panting.
Tarice opened her eyes and gasped. She fell over backwards, knocking over a chair. For a moment, she was so shocked, she couldn’t breathe.
Hurried footsteps sounded outside the door. Someone knocked.
“Tarice? Tarice! Are you ok?” the voice called.
Tarice sat up slowly and finally caught her breath. The door opened as she stood up and placed the chair back where it belonged.
“Tarice?” The girl walked in with a worried expression. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine, Lydia,” Tarice said. “Just a little stunned, that’s all.”
“What is it?” She asked. She seemed curious.
“I haven’t sensed anything for some time. But now, I have.”
Lydia gasped and clapped her hand to her mouth.
“Are you sure?” She asked excitedly. “We haven’t had a trainee for ages. So many humans have lost the will to believe.”
Tarice nodded. “I’m sure. I was meditating when the image flashed in my mind. There is a girl in Virginia who deep down believes.”
Tarice looked straight into Lydia’s eyes.
“Lydia, I need you to alert the Queen right away. We can’t let the Storm Archers find this girl. Her power seems much stronger than other trainees in the past. Go.”
“Right away, Tarice.” Lydia hurried out of the room.
Tarice looked out the window into the stormy sky.
“She may be our only hope.”
Monday, September 5, 2011
Prologue of a Story I'm Working On (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Give Criticism)
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story,
The Magic Violinist
I am 21-year-old author, actress, daydreamer, voracious reader, introvert, klutz, fangirl, and overuser of tape. I love the impossible (which might explain my obsessions with YA novels) but I dip into the real world . . . occasionally. I’m a big fan of dogs, Broadway musicals, and bittersweet endings. When I'm not hunched over a laptop writing a new story, you can find me onstage in whatever theatrical production I've allowed to take over my life. I am a contributor to the “Fauxpocalypse” anthology and the author of “Instructions for Flight” and “Ghost Light,” both collections of poetry. You can follow me on Twitter and Instagram at @KateIFoley.
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5 comments:
Wow! I don't think I have any criticisms. I'm intrigued and really want to read more!
I can send it to you by e-mail once I finish it.
Great beginning. No criticism here but I want to read the rest of the story when it is finished.
You have a very vivid mind... I love your stories. They need to be published.
WOW! that is amazing, no critisims. You are going to be published. I would read your book.
carla
redpunzel-carla.blogspot.com
Hey, Carla! Thanks for commenting! I'm glad you found my blog. I like your blog, too. How did you find my blog? I'm trying to figure out how I know you.
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